A Reflection of Who I Am

Posts tagged ‘Mourning’

Life Goes On After Loss of a Spouse or Loved One

As I woke this morning I instantly felt Joy in my heart.  I had a great night’s rest.  I woke up chatty as my husband, Willie dressed for work.  Joy is a feeling that permeates my whole being…my body, my heart, my mind and my spirit.  Joy allows my smile to come to me as I remember certain people in my life.

This morning my mind is on my late husband, Donald.  December is the anniversary of his passing.  Although I currently share my life with a new husband and a new family, I cannot erase the 31 years that Don and I spent together as friends and adversaries.  Yes adversaries.  We had our ups and downs, but mostly ups. Especially during the last two years when he was fighting cancer.

For those who are widowed (male and female) its alright to celebrate your loved one even if you are in a relationship today.   Hindu women as a tradition in the past jumped on their husband’s funeral pryor (fire).  We do not have to celebrate ‘spiritual sati’.  We do not have to die and give up on life because our loved one has died.  We can carry their memory with us until we are laid to rest.

Romans 12:12 “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

Be joyful in hope

At this moment you may not know if your life will improve as you go through the dark hours of grief.  But as a follower of “The Way” – the way to the throne of Heaven, you know that you are not alone and you have the opportunity to have joy and peace because of the grace and mercy of God.  Remove the negative thoughts that hold your heart captive.  Lean on the Holy Spirit, the Comforter, to carry you through your day.  Listen to uplifting music.  It is at your fingertips.  Go to YouTube for Take Me To the King by Tamela Mann...set up a Pandora.com account.  You can even listen to it on your smartphone.  There is no reason to totally isolate yourself from the blessings that are within your reach.

Be patient in affliction

Be patient as you grieve and wait on the Lord.  He will give you the tools and the way out of the darkness.  He will lift the burden from your heart even as the tears continue to flow when you reminisce.   “For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.” 2 Corinthians 1:5 (NIV).  Prior to my Dedication page in “Joy Comes Through the Mourning” I have 2 Corinthians 1:3-11 written to set the tone of my book.  Our source of comfort comes through Jesus Christ.  Be patient as he works in you through the Holy Spirit.

Be Faithful in Prayer

Prayer changes things are not empty words.  If you dedicate your life to seeking what God wants for you, you will find yourself moving out of darkness and into the light.  If you use this time of pain and loneliness to seek God, you will lead a very productive and joy-filled life.  Through consistent prayer and meditation, you will become a stronger person spiritually and emotionally.  As we heal our spirits our bodies will follow.

“For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.” 1 Peter 3:12 NIV  Living outside of God’s will is living in sin.  It is God’s will for you to lead a healthy and joy-filled life.  When your life is in line with His Word, working through grief is much easier.  You realize that you have a purpose to your life and it matters that you are engaged in the world around you.

My prayer for you is that you will reach out to the only one who can help guide you through this period.  Call on the Holy Spirit who dwells within you.  He’s just that close. There is no time limit for the veil to lift, but there is a time for you to start seeking God and that time is now.

Oh I realized one more thing as I proofread this message.  This message is not only for the widowed.  It is also applicable for those who have suffered a lost of any kind through death, divorce or separation.

Be kind to yourself and choose Joy.

Deborah Wilson Smart
Author and Independent Publishing Consultant
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eMail: dmsmart@onesmartladyproductions.com
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