A Reflection of Who I Am


Unpacking the Memories will document the stories behind the items being examined and judged. I must have given away over 40 bags of clothing (not all mine) deemed unnecessary. They were too small or too big. The wrong design or they just weren’t flattering enough to wear. Unfortunately, some of the clothing still had price tags on them. Going through this process has made me even more aware of my wants versus my needs.

Boxed Memories

Boxed Memories

The question which runs through my mind as I examine each item is, “Was I hoarding or collecting?”

Unpacked So Far

Manuscripts

I found original manuscripts from my first publishing projects.

A) David Goerlitz, Former Winston Man & Associates, Inc. came to me with “Smokescreen” which was titled “Before the Smokescreen” at the time of publication. The book was written for juveniles and young adults. It told Dave’s life experience with being addicted to cigarettes as a teen and rising to become one of Winston’s top models. I remember being nervous about accepting this project, because Dave’s life had been threatened because he testified in congress against the tobacco industry.

B) Paula Nolte – No Nonsense Nathan! Paula was the inside sales representative for the company I consulted from 1992-2002. I was an independent training consultant for Abra! Human Resource and Payroll Software. She had written and illustrated “Nathan” years before coming to work with us. We were away at a conference in Florida. She and I shared a room. She coily asked me if I would be interested in seeing her children’s book. I was delighted and said yes. From out of her suit case she introduced me to Nathan for the very first time.

C) Iris Calaci – Matthew Mouse Iris and my late husband Donald met in the supermarket. She and her husband somehow got into a conversation with Don. I wasn’t present so I don’t know exactly how it all came about. Iris told him about her children’s book and the rest is history. I published “Matthew Mouse” in 2001. I sold quite a few through advertising through the Philadelphia Inquirer.

D) Debra Pedrow – Aunt Debra and My Favorite Things Poster and Aunt Debra and the Snack’n String. What a wonderful project. I was able, along with Debra who lived in the Pittsburgh area, to bring her character to elementary schools and local bookstores for signings and programs. Even though my name is spelled Deborah, people thought the character looked like me because of her wonderful smile.

I am very proud of these projects. I became a publisher when I took on the dreams of these gifted people.I eagerly look forward to finding more wonderful treasures as I continue to Unpack the Memories.

Letters from My Sister Lisa

How precious it was to find these letters and hear my sister Lisa’s voice once again. I share with you my thoughts after my wonderful discovery.

This morning as I unpacked some bags, I came across an envelope sent to me by my mother dated March 21, 2012. When I opened it, I realized they contained letters from my late sister, Lisa to Mom. It was bittersweet to see her handwriting and to read her words. As I read, her face came into my mind’s eye. I could see her smile and her beautiful eyes. She and I were so different. I regret not knowing her better. I regret not having the patience to understand her illness. What she bi-polar or schizophrenic? I don’t remember. But in reading the short notes and letter, I realized despite of her condition, she was an intelligent woman who loved God and lived and died on her own terms.

She wrote, “The prophetic quote is every child arise on earth. They who have peace with themselves are righteous.” How profound. How ironic I found this letter as I have found peace finally with myself. Despite of the transitions were have been experiencing, the Holy Spirit has allowed me to find peace within the storm.

Lisa signed the card, “Rev. Lisa A. Davis”. Sometime ago…in my absence from her life, she dedicated her life to be a Shepherd of God. Did she have a church? Not to my knowledge; but she indeed had a ministry. Even though she moved to Washington homeless, she worked with women at the Woman’s Shelter. I have some paperwork of hers packed away somewhere with more information about the shelter.

In a second note she wrote”

Hi Mom.

Thanks for the blessing… It’s a great city I’m in. The statues are mesmerizing. People are as common as life is made. Snobs do not exist. I was sick now I’m saved…Some women work, some come in from the hospital or nursing homes, a girl was hit by a car. I have to wait some time for my SSI, soon I hope.

Your daughter,

Lisa Ann Wilson

A simple letter that told me, my sister found happiness in a simplistic and Godly life. She wrote phrases like, “Though I’m prayed upon by the wisdom of the spirit, my merciful soul (is) at grace”. “Through the process of life God has my mind at ease in great unwearied hopes that publishes itself, as the evening shade prevail it takes up wondrous tales of new.”

Oh if I could have spent more time with Lisa. Well, that chance is gone. I do have more of her writings and a copy of her published poetry book. Lisa’s memory will continue through my memories and reflections. She will also be a character in “String of Pearl” series.


July 3, 2015

We recently had to move from our home in a very short period. It was a difficult move because we had to downsize from a four-bedroom, eight room, full basement and garage home to a three-bedroom, six room home with an old fashion below ground cellar and no garage. I call our new home, “The Enchanted Cottage.”

When my family and I first visited our new home back in April, I fell in love with its simplicity and charm. Once we returned home to the house we were leaving, a feeling of dread overwhelmed me. “Where would all of our belongings go?” For the purpose of emotional calm, I began referring to the belongings as “stuff” to help me detach. After a month and a half of packing, which included packing up and moving my husband’s mother to live with her granddaughter, we are finally finished the dreaded move.

Sitting 38 miles to the north is the house I moved into August 3, 2008. My husband had already lived there for sixteen years. Now, almost seven years after our wedding day, I am sharing a home I feel is mine and ours. For those of you who have married a divorced or widowed individual, you will understand how I feel. The home I lived in was still the home of the departed spouse. In my case from the garage to the attic and each every room was planned, decorated and furnished by my husband’s late wife. When I moved in,  I was truly grateful for her great taste in decorating. Even to this day, I am thankful I did not have to take on that task.

Yet as the years moved on, I desired to have my personality represented in the home decor. This move has allowed me to experience that desire once again. Although I am currently up to the rafters in boxes. I am content in knowing, this is the home my husband and I will share for a season. It has become and will continue to be a peaceful sanctuary where we will have an opportunity to grow old(er) together.

This house has already given my step-daughter an opportunity to be a part of a family again. It is so small she cannot isolate herself; yet large enough to allow movement between her bedroom, the family room and the outside deck. For the first time, I am experiencing the roles I have always longed for. It has been a long and hard seven years…ten years if you include the years my husband and I dated before we married. I enjoy her quick business mind and the ease she grasps situations. As it is in life, our relationship is a dance; sometimes a two-step, at times the cha-cha, and others the tango. But, rarely the rumba. I’ve learned to gauge her moods and interact accordingly.

Now the unpacking begins…


Don’t judge me for what I am about to write. All I can say is this thought has entered my mind and I cannot shake it. I believe God wired us to be spiritually connected not only to other humans, but to animals also. I have read and seen on television many stories of how animals have come to the aid of their masters. This morning as usual I was actively dreaming. This means I could sense every aspect of my dream. My dream sequences instead of inspirational or enjoyable were disturbing. In one dream sequence, I was strangling a woman. Startling? Yes. I could feel the anger I felt toward this person and It disturbed me.

The next thing I knew my cat, Bubba was nudging me to wake up. DSC02768I rolled over and stroked him and he purred. I looked over at the clock and it a little before 4 am. I thought he was ready for me to do our morning ritual of feeding him. This was really unusual. I rolled over and it was my plan to go back to sleep. A few minutes passed and he did something totally out of character for him, he crawled between my husband and me. Of course, Will barked “Get down.” I moved Bubba to my side and told Will, “No there is something wrong with him and I don’t know what it is.” I continued to stroke him and squeeze parts of his body (the cat not my husbands) to see if he reacted in pain. He loved it and purred. I know sometimes cats purr even when they are in pain, so I stayed awake and just watched him. I then got up and gave him catnip and he was satisfied.

I fell back to sleep, but again he came in to nuzzle next to me. This time I got up and went downstairs to check his food bowl. I was at the Stay Focused Writer’s Retreat all day yesterday so I thought, “Maybe his bowl was empty.” No that was not the problem. So back to bed I went.

As I lay there, I began thinking back about the retreat. It was an awesome day. I rekindled relationships with wonderfully talented individuals I met over the years and only communicate through social media. My thoughts when back to the article I wrote in the Stay Focused Magazine entitled “My Sacred Place”. As I read the published article for the first time, I saw what I thought was an awful mistake. At first I thought it was my mistake, and then I thought it was the person who retyped my work. When I pointed it out to Deanna Davis, Publisher and Editor of the Stay Focused Magazine, she corrected me and said I had written the wrong scripture reference. I immediately realized she was correct and it disturbed me that I missed that mistake when I read it over before submitting it.

My Sacred Place” is an article I wrote about creating a sacred place in your home or office where you could go to pray or meditate before beginning your day. I tell how each morning I begin my day with a blank 8 ½ x 14 blank sheet of paper. It covers a tv tray I have next to my workstation. I write at the top in the center, Matthew 6:33 “First seek the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness and all these things shall be given unto you.” I have been doing this for months, in my article I wrote Matt 6:22. As I reviewed my papers, I seemed to switch to Matt 6:22 on March 8th. I continued writing the wrong scripture reference, but the correct passage. I did it inconsistently and never realized the mistake.

This morning, I acknowledge a major shift occurring in my spirit. It’s a good one, yet a scary one. I am ready to step out of my comfort zone and expand my territory as an author, publisher and public speaker. I believe my dream was my inner fight with my self who wants to stay contained in the world God had led me through. A world where I serve Him through the work I do with my clients. Even so, I believe God now has me on a new path to do more on a grander scale. I also believe he wants me to remain humble and authentic as I pursue this new path.

Matt. 6:22 “The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.” I researched this passage this morning and came across a wonderful explanation by Pastor John Piper “The good eye is a single eye. It has one Treasure. God. When that happens in your life, you are full of light.

So even though it looked like I was so totally off the mark, what I didn’t know, was God yet again was giving me my marching orders. As I desire to expand my territory, I must also desire to only serve Him and not money; and to continue to store my treasures in Heaven and not here on earth where they can be eaten by moth and rusted So my passages each morning have expanded to Matt 6:19-24. Ironically, in my book, “Joy Comes Through the Mourning”, I write how I read each passage that matched my birthday, 6/24. Matt 6:24 says “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.” It is a great passage for everyone to focus on.

Now back to being spiritually connected to my cats. I believe Bubba sensed my discomfort as I slept. He was being protective and would not allow me to go back to sleep. I am so happy he woke me and I was moved to think about Matthew 6:22 and its significance to me. God reminded me this morning, as long as my spiritual eyes are on him, he will light my path and he will continue to covered with love, joy and everlasting peace.

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Other Blogs By Deborah Wilson Smart
Http://www.onesmartladyproductions.org


Saturday Morning, April 11, 2015

Last night, I couldn’t sleep. My mind was on our move. We are leaving our large home with four bedrooms a 2 ½ bathrooms to a much smaller home; 3 bedrooms and 1 bathroom built in 1950. The actual year Willie and I were born. This summer we both turn 65, another major adjustment.  Our new house, beautifully and humbly laid out, is sufficient for my husband and me at this time in our lives.

Even so, my heart sank as we returned from inspecting our new home and walked into the expansive living area of our current home. It hit me, we will barely be able to take anything with us. Where the rooms are spacious with a family room, living room, and dining room; our new home will have a tiny area for the kitchen table and chairs. The upside, there is a beautifully bright family room, an addition extending the living space of the small Cape Cod. I suffered the thought of getting rid of 90% of our “stuff”. This spacious house allowed me, a literary pack rat, to shelve my books and papers. Bookcases and shelves that allowed me to stockpile folders, papers and books. Open areas where I line up bags and cubes of clothes which cannot fit into the limited closet space in this large home. And we currently have a two car garage where our new home will barely accommodate our two cars in the compact car off-street parking spaces in the front of the house.

After our daughter went out with friends, and my mother-in-law and husband went on to bed, I went out to our garage and began bringing in boxes and piles of papers. These papers and boxes contained research papers and articles written by me. I had to begin the process of eliminating unnecessary stuff. I was successful in filling two lawn size trash bags of papers and retired to my bed.

As I lay there staring at the ceiling, my mind went back to the tiny new home and the limited storage space. In my anxiety, I recognized I would not easily fall asleep, so I rose and went down to the kitchen to make some Tension Tamer tea laced with Noni juice. As I sat down to the table, I spoke to God about how I was feeling. I was moved to get something to write down my thoughts. I knew this would also ease my anxiety to get the words out of my mind and onto paper. That is exactly how I have over the years accumulated so many piles of papers. It is my way of cleansing my mind and spirit of negative thoughts.

I went to the box where I placed my spiral notebooks and returned to the kitchen table. The first page in the book were notes from my church’s 2005 Watch Night Service titled, “May The Source Be With You.” Pastor Holland spoke from Jonah 1 and Isaiah 43:16-21. Our theme for 2006 was “New Beginning In The Lord”.

I turned the page and BAM…”You’ve got to let go of the former things.” Isaiah 43:18 and “…I am making a new thing” Isaiah 43:19. It is just like God to lead me to the one book in the box where he could direct my path for this move. I thanked him, finished drinking my tea and returned to bed. I slept very soundly until Tank, our six year old pit bull, needed to go out. I easily fell back to sleep and woke up rested and ready to continue the purge.

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Footnote: As I was typing my actual notes from that sermon, the Lord reminded me this was the night I gave testimony of a year prior, my New Years was much different. My late husband Donald had passed away December 16, 2003. I wasn’t a member of Green Grove or even attending a church. I had grown in the Lord dramatically through 2004 and my life was on a much more positive track. He also reminded me, it was the night my husband, Willie Richard Smart, Jr. crossed over to shake my hand. He told me he understood what I had been going through and if there was anything he could do to help me, to just ask. You see, Willie’s wife had passed away three months earlier. He was still grieving, and understood we were members of an elite club. We did not know God had orchestrated that meeting. Four-and-a-half years later, we were married in that same sanctuary.That night was a new beginning for the two of us, and God wanted us to put our former lives behind us because He had a totally new beginning charted out for our future.


Plant Family Co.

Dear Film Goers and Readers Everywhere,

February 13, 2015 will mark an important moment in American cinema, one which is a deplorable moment for our country and our world.  In 1939, Gone with the Wind used the first swear word in a film, when Rhett Butler stuck it to Scarlett O’Hara, saying a well-deserved though sad “frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.”  While some might say that opened a door to the onslaught of immorality in films, I maintain that there’s a difference between that one word and the 554 times The Wolf of Wall Street f-bombed the world.  But back to the point, there’s something that’s even worse happening on Valentine’s Day this year.

50 Shades of Crap 50 Shades of Crap

Opening in theaters that day is 50 Shades of Grey, an erotic, pornographic film that has a disturbing story line accompanied by overt sexual exploitation. And no.  It’s not okay.

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Good writers have two things in common: they prefer to be understood rather than admired; and they do not write for knowing and over-acute readers.

-Friedrich Nietzsche

Sunday, January 11th, I had an awesome opportunity to facilitate the weekly Gloucester County NAACP Act-So chapter meeting.

What is ACT-SO?

The NAACP’s Afro-Academic, Cultural, Technological and Scientific Olympics is a year long achievement program designed to recruit, stimulate, and encourage high academic and cultural achievement among African-American high school students.

ACT-SO includes 26 categories of competition in the sciences, humanities, business, and performing and visual arts. Almost 300,000 young people have participated from the program since its inception.  Source: NAACPConnect

We had a conversation on “Writing Essentials”.  I met the nicest and most respectful teens who are participating in this national competition in the area of their passion…

  • Engineering
  • Photography
  • Writing: Essays, Short Stories, Poetry and Spoken Word
  • Drama
  • Dance
  • Music

They followed an agenda and during one point introduced themselves and talked about their competition area. When it came to my point in the program, I took the opportunity to critique their introductions. I wrote their names and disciplines down as I heard and understood them. When I read my notes back to them, six (6) out of the eleven (11) names were incorrect. I stressed when they stand before the judges, they must speak in strong voices to the last person seated in the room The person must be able to hear the proper annunciation of their name and the reason they are participating in the competition. It was a good start. It allowed me to stress, they needed to write out their who they were, why they were there, and what they were passionate about before hand. I challenged them to keep a journal as they participated in the Act-So competition.

I then went on to talk about how to become a great storyteller. Regardless of their discipline, storytelling is crucial to their presentation. We talked about the following:

  1. What makes a great storyteller.
  2. How to get started writing or telling their story.
  3. How and where stories are captured.
  4. How to define their main characters and keep them consistent throughout the story.

We discussed their personal mission and their passion. And I gave them a list of personal challenges for them to think and write about.

These high school students carried themselves as freshmen and juniors in college. I want to say to their parents and guardians, “Well Done!”  I want to thank Mrs. Larae Carter and her team of Mentors for inviting me and opening up yet another way for me to keep the process going. I am not giving back, I am paying it forward. That is what teen mentoring is all about.

We, yes I am on board as a mentor, are looking for more mentors. If you are interested please contact me at ActSoSmart@gladstonepublishing.com.

Gladstone Publishing Services: http://www.gladstonepublishing.com
One Smart Lady Productions: http://www.onesmartladyproductions.org

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WHWP2012Through Apathy Comes a Path to You

©2012 Deborah Wilson Smart

Through Pain Comes Anger

Through Destruction comes Pride

Through Selfishness comes Arrogance

Through Self-Awareness comes Truth

Through the Word of God comes Healing

Through Redemption and Reconciliation come You

Anger withholds the truth.

Pride resists the truth.

Arrogance blocks compassion and mercy, yet

Truth takes away weapons of hate and self-destruction, when

Healing removes the wedge between the loved and unloved; then

You find yourself on a new path.

This path leads to complete Healing and Love.

This path opens your heart to others pain.

This path allows you to be whole.

Whole like you were at birth.

No prejudice, no hate.

Whole like you were before the abuse.

Mental, physical, spiritual and emotional abuse.

Whole to be the individual God meant for you to be.

Lacking nothing, desiring everything; freely expressing you.

This path paves the way for a new beginning.

Like the rivers Tiger and Euphrates when the earth was born.

Your rebirth from apathetic soul to healing soul is the secret, to

World Healing and World Peace.

Published by InnerChild Press

World Healing and World Peace Vol. 1 & 2

An Anthology of Poetry 2012

http://www.innerchildpress.com

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